After deciding to do some travel over the next few months I have found some pretty specific ways to worry my mum. Here is an easy guide to get you stated.
1. Tell her you want to take a few months to Travel, overseas. Mother’s love to hear this one. Especially when you slowly extend a few months to six months maybe a year… It gives them more time to think about all the dangers travel will bring to you. For an added effect, make sure your Mom is your boss. Then its not about you leaving the house, its about taking a leave from work as well.
2. Fall on Ice and get 25 stitches on the better half of your face. Mom was pretty worried I would look like Frankenstein after this one. Thankfully I had a skilled Doctor and the scar is barley there, but it was a good week of worry for my Mummy while I was recovering in California.
3. When she asks where you will live, tell her you don’t know. Probably my car mom. Leaving things uncertain gives her time to worry for you, especially when the car you buy is a 1997 beater that should certainly not be on the road. It makes an awesome house though and she’s cheap.
4. Phone mom up and tell her you picked up a hitchhiker. Make sure it’s a male lone hitchhiker. You will get a good rise from her for sure. I know I did. To calm her, tell her “It’s really safe here” and this should soften the blow. Add on that hitchhikers keep you from falling asleep on the road and will often drive for you. It helps I swear.
5. Don’t forget to tell her the hitchhiker grew Ganja in California fro three months of his life. It was actually a riveting story of his life’s successes and failures. He came complete with dreads and a wifebeater too. (But really, he was a sweet guy and I enjoyed his non-ganja stories from Europe as well) I picked up another hitchhiker two days later, we went and toured the pancake rocks together, he was so friendly. Hitchhikers make good friends mom.
6. When she asks if you’ve been wearing sunscreen, tell her “I only put it on when I am burnt.” This is true. Sunscreen is a pain and for some reason I’d rather deal with the pain of sunburn than applying the sunscreen. (Thankfully I have only been burnt once).
I am sure there are dozens of other ways to worry Mom, and I’m sure I will discover them unintentionally. In the meantime, Mom, if you’re reading this don’t worry I’m getting on fine and I think I will go find a kiwi to marry over here because I want to live here pretty badly.